This website, this book, this endeavor–they are all in their infancy stages. Goo-goo-gaga. Feed me. Burp me. Change me. Cradle me. And most importantly, grow with me. Be patient as I learn how to navigate the world of blogging. Giggle when I fall. Be forgiving when I spit up. Be patient when I’m shrieking for no apparent reason. When I poop myself be grateful I’m not asking you to change my diapers. I’d never do that to a stranger. But don’t feel rejected. Once we get to know one another a bit more my poopy diapers will be all yours. Don’t argue amongst yourselves about whose turn it is to remove the toxic bum-turban. There’s enough for everyone.
So, I’m not a blogger any more than I’m a logger or snogger or dogger. But from what I understand, blogging is important for a new author. It’s a way of inviting my adoring followers into my shower so they can know every intimate detail of my bathing routine, my favorite beauty products, the degree of soap scum clinging to the tiled walls, the kind of shower cap I use (a zip lock bag) and of course, every bump, lump, and hump adorning my naked body. Yeah…so I’m real excited to get to it…
Listen, Three Quarters Dead may be the first book I’ve published, but it’s not the only “book” I’ve written. Not at all. It’s just the first one I’ve actually finished. I’m also a prolific writer of short stories, my favorite platform because my attention span is less than that of a sugar-powered kindergartener. Crafting a short story encourages me because I can see the end like a running back sees the end zone. It doesn’t mean he’s going to snag a touchdown, however, but he knows the direction to head for before some 300-pound meatball bowls him over.
I digress…this blog should be interesting, is all I’m saying. The current post I’m working on right now has taken nearly a week to write. I don’t know why. It’s not because the task is difficult. It’s not because I can’t decide what to say. It’s possible that laziness has something to do with it…who knows. But here goes….POST!